With the lockout looming, NBA players are going to have a lot of spare time. Some have been talking about going to play abroad, but I have some other suggestions for a few of today’s biggest talents.

LeBron James: Re-grow hair. I think it’s about time to hop on that Rogaine train, Bron Bron. You’re only 26 years old and that headband can only ride up so far until it flies off your dome. I know you played wide receiver in high school but they’re going to start calling you wide receder soon. Then again, the Mailman used Rogaine and he never won a championship.

The Kevins:

• Kevin Love: Get a tan.

• Kevin Garnett: What’s the opposite of get a tan?

• Kevin Durant: Eat something.

Blake Griffin: New haircut. It’s hard to hate on the Blake Show but that ginger fro’s gotta go, bro. Mow it down, keep it short. It’ll make you more aerodynamic.

Paul Pierce: Shave. Your facial hair looks like glued on pubic hair. It’s patchy, it’s disgusting and it makes you look homeless.

Carmelo Anthony/The Knicks: Defense. Learn it.

Ron Artest aka Metta W. Peace: Comic book and/or movie deal. Who wouldn’t want to see a kick-ass, crime-fighting basketball player beating up bad guys with his amazing basketball-related abilities?! With a name like Metta World Peace, this business opportunity is too good to pass up.

Kobe Bryant: Cryogenic freezing. There has been some talk of Kobe’s new cryotherapy treatment for his knee which is supposed to speed up the heeling of his leg with the use of a cryogenic chamber that gets down to minus 166 degrees Fahrenheit. We all know Kobe’s getting older and his body ain’t what it used to be. I say we take it a step further and cryogenically freeze the whole Kobe until the next season is set to get under way. The Lakers can’t afford any idle Kobe time.

Yao Ming: Human ladder.

Luke Walton: Human toilet, and/or retire.

Kardashian and Humphries pictured partying on a yacht...but are stormy seas ahead?

Cynthia Momdjian

He got down on one knee with a 20.5 carat ring, and now what?

With wedding bells becoming more and more audible as the summer season is rolling around, it’s only natural that juicy rumors of the all-star couple start percolating throughout the newswire.

Many couples have been subject to media exposure at all levels, and K-squared are apparently the new kids on the tabloid chopping block. Interesting reports have been coming at us from left and right. From rumors of infidelity to sneak-peeks of their prenup, the Kardashian clan has maintained a constant presence in the media-sphere, with Kris Humphries being a new addition to their effervescent limelight.

Early last week, the popular tabloid InTouch slammed Kim with a big, scarlet letter “A” and claimed that she had been having a “sexting” relationship with another popular NFL player, Bret Lockett. ABC.com reports that Lockett immediately set the record straight by going “on ‘Showbiz Tonight’ [last] Friday and confessed that he had never actually met the star.” It’s safe to say…it’s for us to not know, and their cell phones to leak out.

Aside from unconfirmed chatter, ABC.com also reports that Kim is personally putting all rumors to rest and diligently focusing on her star-studded, Hollywood wedding. Top on her checklist? Drafting a prenup. And verbally quantifying Kardashian’s assets are “No small feat, considering that Forbes magazine estimated that the reality star made $12 million in the past year from endorsements, appearance fees, television shows and product lines. In contrast, groom-to-be Humphries reportedly earns $3.2 million a year as a Nets forward,” reports ABC.com. The soon-to-be Mr. Kardashian, thanks to super mom Kris Kardashian’s keen sense of all-things-business, won’t receive a single dime if the couple splits down the road…shocking. To quote the late Bob Marley, it really must be love that their feeling.

In light of all the updates, it seems that Kim is definitely ready to become a basketball wife. We’ll just have to see if Kris Humphries is ready to become a reality-star husband. With all this in mind, the couple’s upcoming wedding and reality show will definitely be something to keep up with.

Andre Khatchaturian

The season is over and it’s time to focus on the 2011 NBA Draft.

For the Lakers though, it will be very interesting to see what they do with their picks. This season, because of trades made throughout the past few seasons, the Lakers do not have a first round draft pick. And even if they did, it would be a late first-round draft pick.

Looking at past history, Laker draft picks have not even played for the team. They’ve mostly been late first round draft picks or late second round draft picks. This happens because of the Lakers’ success, so they get stuck with poor draft picks. Most of the time the Lakers just trade their picks. They did so to acquire Pau Gasol a few years ago. Because of this, the Lakers get stuck with a bunch of Chinemelu Elonus and Joe Crawfords.

It’s not that the Lakers don’t draft well. Guys like Ronny Turiaf and Jordan Farmar have gone on to have solid careers. It’s that the Lakers team is so stacked it’s extremely difficult for a young player to just make the team.

So now the Lakers are stuck with four draft picks in the second-round this season. Most of these won’t crack the Lakers roster. Does it make sense for the Lakers to get rid of their draft picks then?

Of course it does.

First off, the Lakers have the 41st, 46th, 56th, and 58th picks. None of these guys are likely to get a spot on the team, especially in a very weak draft. The Lakers are better off trading all four picks to a team that can use them in exchange for a solid bench player.

Does it make sense for the Lakers to draft guys that are never going to play for the team and have them just leave with no compensation? Of course not. So trade them away. The Lakers can use the depth.

They don’t have to get a star player in return. They probably won’t be able to. But there are plenty of teams that can use those extra draft picks, with the hopes of one of them becoming a relevant player. The Lakers in return can get a guy that will provide for them off the bench and bring depth.

Let’s be honest, the NBA draft has become a dull event amongst Laker fans. A trade, especially since the CBA hasn’t expired yet, will provide an exciting change for Laker fans and perhaps even help the team.

Andre Khatchaturian
As we approach the 2011 NBA Draft, everyone is wondering where the NBA’s most saintly player will play next year. After having a stellar season at BYU offensively and not playing a lick of defense, Jimmer Fredette needs to go somewhere that has a great offensive-minded coach, and also where he will be getting playing time and be surrounded by great teammates who stay out of trouble.

With that being said, you can guarantee the Washington Wizards will not be on this list.

Here are the top five teams that will be the best fit for the Jimmer.

5. Golden State Warriors
Living in San Francisco might be a little too extreme for the Jimmer, but the high-powered Warrior offense is a good fit for Fredette.

He doesn’t have to play defense here. He can just take shots, walk back and allow two points on the fast break. He also gets the luxury of playing against three very atrocious teams in the Pacific division in the Kings, Clippers and Suns.

The only problem with playing for the Warriors is that they already have a great point guard in Stephen Curry, so Jimmer will have to come off the bench.

4. New York Knicks
Jimmer believes the Knicks are the best option for him. Mike D’Antoni is an offensive-minded coach, and the Knicks can use a point guard, even if Billups does return. Moving from the mountains of Utah to the City that Never Sleeps is a huge task though.

The media attention in New York City is also microscopic, so they’ll be following Jimmer’s every move both on and off the court. If he struggles, the media will bash him, and it may be detrimental to his toughness and confidence.

He does have a strong relationship with God that will help fight off the New York critics though.

Critics aside, all Jimmer can do is score, and the Knicks’ offense is suitable for a player like him.

3. Houston Rockets
The Rockets would love a nice scoring point guard like Fredette. Houston is also in dire need of scoring, especially since Yao Ming is hurt every year. Fredette can solve those problems.

There’s also not a lot of pressure playing in Houston; Fredette can be Fredette.

2. Minnesota Timberwolves
It may be hard to see Fredette fall as low as the 20th spot in the draft, but if he does, playing in Minnesota will be a great fit.

It’s not the flashiest of cities. There isn’t a lot of media attention there, and Fredette can probably help that struggling T’Wolves offense. He won’t have to play defense because Kevin Love will be doing that for him.

It’s true Ricky Rubio signed with the Wolves, but there are a lot of questions with him. What if Rubio turns out to be a bust? The Wolves can alternate between he and Fredette, and see what works best at the position.

1. Utah Jazz
This is obvious.

Hopefully Jimmer does get drafted by the Jazz at No. 12. He is projected to go around 10-15, so this makes a lot of sense.

Jimmer is a Mormon, and Utah has a huge population of Mormons, so he will easily be a fan favorite; the legend of Jimmer Fredette will essentially continue from BYU to the Utah Jazz.

After Carlos Boozer left, the Jazz are in need of a new star, and Fredette can be that star. His great shooting abilities will help Utah bounce back after a dismal season. They also got several good pieces back from the Deron Williams trade, so Fredette will have a lot of help around him.

The Jazz can probably be a playoff team next season because of that trade.

Fredette’s wholesome image will also be a great sell for the Mormon faithful in Utah. This is the best possible destination and one of the more likely places Fredette will end up.

Andre Khatchaturian

On Twitter, Shaquille O’Neal announced his retirement from the NBA. After 19 seasons, Shaq accumulated 28,596 points and 13,099 rebounds, along with four championship rings. He’s a surefire Hall of Famer, and he will forever be considered one of the greatest centers who ever played the game.

The Los Angeles Lakers recently announced that they will retire O’Neal’s number on the Staples Center wall and deservedly so. The Lakers’ three-peat would not have been possible if it wasn’t for Shaq. Miami will probably end up retiring his number too because he led them to their first ever title.

But what about Orlando? Should he have his number retired with the Magic, even though he only spent four years with them and left unceremoniously?

He never won a ring with the Magic, but he did put Orlando on the basketball map for numerous years. After being taken first overall in the 1992 NBA Draft, O’Neal went on to win the Rookie of the Year award and led the Magic to the 1995 NBA Finals.

He made the Magic relevant. The money he earned with the Lakers was a testament to his great years in Orlando.

Shaq shot over 55 percent in all four seasons in Orlando. In his rookie year, he averaged a career high 13.9 rebounds per game, and he averaged over 29 points in both the 1994 and 1995 seasons.

What is most impressive about O’Neal’s impact on the Magic is that the team was in their infancy when they started dominating the Eastern Conference. Expansion teams generally don’t start winning games until they develop their team and this usually takes awhile. Paired with Horace Grant and Penny Hardaway, Shaq and the Magic took Orlando to the finals in only their sixth season, becoming the second fastest franchise to do such a task.

Although they were swept by the Houston Rockets, and Shaquille O’Neal was hurt during most of his last year with the Magic and ended up leaving, the Magic should still retire Shaq’s No. 32. If it wasn’t for him, who knows how long it would’ve taken the Magic to put up a solid team.

Couple that situation with the fact that they play in a small market, and NBA teams relocate often compared to other sports like baseball, and we may not even have the Orlando Magic franchise today if it wasn’t for Shaq. They played in an outdated arena until this season and if it wasn’t for Shaq’s contributions for Orlando magic, they may not have gained the fan support to keep the basketball team in Orlando. There were talks regarding relocation in the late 1990s after Shaq left. If Shaq hadn’t left those talks may have come into fruition.

So retire his number. He truly deserves it. He is the pioneer of Orlando basketball. Along with Dwight Howard, he is the reason why the new Amway Center was built and why Orlando will continue to have a basketball team for the foreseeable future.

Andre Khatchaturian

Cue Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.”

Today, the 39-year-old Shaquille O’Neal hung up his sneakers and called it a career. And what a career it was.

Shaq Diesel amassed 28,596 points, 13,099 rebounds, 2,732 blocks, four championships, three NBA Finals MVP awards, one regular season MVP award, three All-Star Game MVP awards, and was a two-time NBA scoring champion as a center.

The Big Fella was at one point the most dominant player in the game. When he played with the Lakers, he was absolutely unstoppable. Laker game plans were very simple. Get the ball to Shaq and watch him steamroll passed the defense and score.

Shaq’s most successful season came in the 1999-2000 season where he scored 29.7 points per game and 13.6 rebounds per game. In the playoffs that season, he did what great players do. He stepped up his game to a higher level against tougher competition. He scored 30.7 points per game and 15.4 rebounds per game in that playoff season. He eventually lead the Lakers to their first championship since 1988 and won his first NBA Finals MVP award.

In fact, Shaq’s career average for points and rebounds is higher in the playoffs than in the regular season. This exemplifies his tendency of raising his game when it mattered most. Shaq is truly the greatest big man to play in our generation and he was a marvel to watch.

Shaq may have been injured a lot throughout his career but it really is amazing how long he was able to play given his size. We see guys like Yao Ming and Greg Oden who can’t stay healthy at all ever because of their massive builds. But Shaq was able to play and obliterate the competition for years.

Players would hang on Shaq and he would still go up with three guys clinging on him and dunk the ball. It was a joke to think that anyone could guard him.

Teams like Portland tried to implement the “Hack-a-Shaq” strategy to stop him. They would simply just foul him to put him on the line to make him shoot free throws because if there was one weakness Shaq had, it was shooting free throws. But none of it ever worked. Shaq and the Lakers dominated the competition and went on to win three straight titles.

Before Dwight Howard became Superman in Orlando, Shaq was Superman. He lead the Orlando Magic to their first NBA Finals appearance. After an unceremonious breakup with the Magic, Shaq signed a lucrative seven-year, $121 million contract with the Lakers.

Surrounded by budding superstar Kobe Bryant and legendary head coach Phil Jackson, the Lakers opened up Staples Center with three straight titles. One of the most memorable moments from the title years was Game 7 against Portland in the Western Conference Finals.

Kobe Bryant laid up an alley-oop to Shaq, who slammed it down and ran down the court with both arms raised in the air, eyes and mouth wide open as the Lakers completed a comeback and advanced to the NBA Finals.

Unfortunately though, with success comes ego. And when two large egos collide, tension arises. As Kobe developed into a star, the Kobe-Shaq feud started and O’Neal was shipped to Miami where he won another title.

However, Shaq and Kobe have mended their relationship fortunately and the Laker nation is anxiously awaiting to see O’Neal’s No. 34 hang from the Staples’ rafters.

Shaq is a sure-fire hall of famer and he should be considered as a candidate as the greatest center of all time. People may bring up Kareem or Wilt Chamberlain, but the fact of the matter is they played in generations where players were not as strong as they are today. Shaq had stiffer competition.

Sure Wilt was able to score a 100 points in a game. But if Shaq played in his era, he would probably be able to do that numerous times. His immense size and strength was an unstoppable force.

It’s a shame the feud with Kobe cut his career in LA short. The Lakers could have won several more titles if the chemistry between the two legendary players existed.

Nevertheless, Shaquille O’Neal is one of the greatest Lakers of all time and he will forever be remembered for the joy he brought onto Laker fans’ faces at the turn of the century and for bringing back Showtime.

Andre Khatchaturian
The Lakers hired former Cavaliers coach Mike Brown to coach the purple and gold starting next season, replacing legendary head coach Phil Jackson.

There have been numerous articles written on Bleacher Report on why Brown’s tenure in Los Angeles is destined to fail.

Before jumping to such negative conclusions, let’s take a step back and look at this situation with some perspective.

First off, Brown has experience coaching alpha males. He won 61 games with LeBron James and he knows how to deal with superstars. He also coached Shaquille O’Neal and was able to win 60 games in the regular season.

More importantly, Kupchak knows what he’s doing. This isn’t a Donald Sterling hire. This is a Buss and Kupchak hire. The Buss family and Mitch Kupchak have had a great track record with the Lakers in everything they have done in the last decade. It’s not an accident that they’ve won five championships. Granted, these championships were under one coach, but have some faith in the Lakers front office. It’s not like they’re blindly hiring someone.

So why did they make this hire?

The obvious answer is that Brown is a great defensive head coach and in order to win titles the Lakers need to step up defensively. They have the pieces in Ron Artest, Kobe Bryant and Andrew Bynum to have teams with stifling defenses.

More importantly, the Lakers made this hire because of LeBron. The Lakers’ main rival in the next five years if they want to win championships is going to be the Miami Heat. Brown coached LeBron and he may know his in-game tendencies more than anybody else. He’s coached him so he’s probably the best person who has the most information on how to coach against him.

Once again, Kupchak knows what he’s doing. We saw the last time Phil Jackson left that it’s not always smart to replace a legend with another legend. The Lakers hired Rudy Tomjanovich and he ended up resigning. There was very little success and the Lakers ended up not even making the playoffs that year.

Cynthia Momdjian
It’s official…Here comes another Kardashian bride!

After a six month courtship, it has been confirmed by Kim Kardashian’s camp that she is betrothed to New Jersey Net Forward, Kris Humphries. According to USA TODAY, “Humphries was a McDonald’s All-American in 2003 and was Utah’s first-round draft choice in 2004, but he has been traded three times and has made only 52 starts in 7 years (44 of them this season with the Nets). But his 10.4 rebounding average did rank fifth in the NBA this season, so maybe he’s about to blossom.”

Now to the bigger question: How did he propose?

Reports reveal Humphries surprised Kim in her Beverly Hills home by getting down on one knee and presenting her with a 20.5 carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond ring. Surrounding him were rose petals spelling out, “Will you marry me?” Gentleman, take notes…Humphries is truly a romantic at heart! And Kim was definitely caught off guard. She told People, “I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now.”

Of course, a celebration was in place after the proposal, Kardashian-style. On the guest list: Two glitter-covered mini-horses for the future bride and groom, all that the expense of Kim’s mother, Kris Jenner, Yahoo reports.

It seems like Kim is following in the footsteps of her sister, Khloe Kardashian, who is married to Los Angeles Lakers Forward, Lamar Odom. I wonder what the family’s relationship will be like when the Lakers and the Nets come face-to-face next season. I’m expecting the battles to play out on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, stay tuned!

Another fun fact: Kris’ family has a K-theme going with their names as well (His two older sisters are named Krystal and Kaela). With that in mind, what a perfect match! I’m sure a star-studded, L.A. wedding will be coming soon!

Let the E! specials begin…

Recently Tony Parker spoke with a French newspaper called L’Equipe. In it he stated the following:

“At the start of the season I said this was our last chance. We will always have a good team but we can no longer say that we’re playing for a championship.”

The star point guard is now aging and he feels that because the rest of the Spurs’ core is aging with him they no longer have a chance to win a championship.

This may be a stretch. The Spurs did win 61 games this season. They ran into a Memphis team that they didn’t match up well against at all. It’s not like the Spurs can’t pull off another 50+ win season next year and get hot at the right time and make a run for the title.

But Parker does have a point, as it makes it a lot more difficult when the core of the team is getting even older. Also, with a lockout looming who knows if they’ll even play next year. The next time the team steps on the hardwood they might be two years older.

As a result, the Spurs might try to make a move to add youth to the roster.

The Lakers are going to be looking for a point guard and Chris Paul might be a little too costly. So why not Tony Parker?

Sure, Parker is aging, but we’ve all seen Jason Kidd in his late early 30s dominate opponents in the playoffs this season. Chauncey Billups is passed his prime yet he was extremely productive with the Knicks. Parker still has plenty of value and he can provide Kobe and the Lakers with a huge spark. He’s still quick, and he really won’t have to be the main guy because the Lakers have Pau, Bynum and Bryant. He can just facilitate the offense and help with ball movement. Nobody is asking him to score. He can be the Rondo of the Lakers. Forget scoring. Just facilitate and make life easier for the rest of the team.

The Lakers will probably have to mortgage their future by sending a couple of draft picks and perhaps even parting ways with Lamar Odom and/or Shannon Brown. Lamar’s price may be too high and Shannon’s skill level might be too low for the Spurs to even consider pulling off a trade like that with the Lakers. Other teams can probably make better offers.

But it remains an interesting question. If the Spurs were willing to do it, would you welcome a Lamar Odom or Ron Artest trade for Tony Parker?

We all know the last Parker who wore a Laker jersey will live forever in infamy, but this Parker has rings, experience, quickness, and a high basketball IQ. More importantly, he has respectively fresher legs than Derek Fisher and this should help the Lakers immensely. The Lakers really could’ve used solid play from the point guard position in the sweep against Dallas. Also, putting Fisher on the bench means the Lakers will have an experienced veteran running the most important position at all times.

What do you all think?

Tonight in Chicago on the road in a hostile environment, LeBron James came through again. It was the sloppiest of fourth quarters. Only 24 points were scored combined by both the Heat and Bulls. However, LeBron James in a 73-73 game came through.

When everyone took the quarter off, LeBron James rose to the occasion. He scored 9 of the last 12 points which was part of a 12-2 Miami run leading them to the 85-75 victory. Isn’t that clutch? Isn’t that what his critics are saying LeBron can’t do?

Fact of the matter is, LeBron is just as clutch as anybody can be. Tom Haberstroh in an ESPN article on May 12, 2011 puts it best:

“Time and time again, we’re reminded that there are clutch performances, but not clutch players. LeBron has been clutch in his career and he has not been clutch in his career. Kobe Bryant has been clutch in his career and he has not been clutch in his career (he shot 25 percent in the last five minutes of the game within five points here in the playoffs). Michael Jordan has been clutch in his career and he has not been clutch in his career.

As human beings, we don’t like randomness. And when it comes to the outcome of a critical basketball shot, randomness happens. So to fill in the gaps, we plug in artificial storylines and forced narrative. To make sense of it all, we have created a basketball mythology.”

Basically, can we put an end to all of this LeBron is not clutch talk? He’s shown that he can be clutch. It’s not like he’s never taken a game into his own hands the same way Bryant and Jordan have. Everyone seems to forget LeBron’s historic performance against Detroit in 2007 when he scored the Cavaliers’ final 25 points in a double overtime game. This included a game winning lay up in double overtime.

Point is, sure there will be some moments when LeBron does not take over a game. But who in basketball history has taken over every single big game consistently throughout his career? The answer to this is simple: nobody.

LeBron James is just like Kobe and Jordan when it comes to being clutch. At times he is and the world falls in love with him, and at times he isn’t and he gets bashed by the media. We, as a society, lose perspective so easily. Perspective is easily gained, but people have a hard time keeping it. We lose sight of the fact that LeBron has had moments of unbelievable and spectacular play in his career and we bash him for that senselessly.

We are also susceptible to the opposite scenario. When Kobe Bryant was draining buzzer beaters left and right in the 2010 season, we labeled him as the greatest closer of all time. Folks, there was a guy named Jordan in the 90s who was providing us with similar heroics.

LeBron proved he was clutch four years ago in that Detroit series. He validated himself again last week against Boston and tonight in Chicago. If he goes on a long stretch where he does not perform well in the final two minutes it does not make him any less of a player. But we will still hear criticism. Perhaps a championship will silence everything once and for all, but a championship for LeBron is only a matter of time. It’s foolish to think that the Heat will not win a title in the next six years with that stacked team. So people are eventually going to lose the “LeBron doesn’t have a ring” excuse. And then what?

These criticisms are stemmed from “The Decision.” People still have not gotten over it and they will continue to bash him. Again, society lost complete perspective because of “The Decision.” People need to understand that it wasn’t murder. It wasn’t rape. It wasn’t a multi-billion dollar financial fraud. It was a bad conference, nothing more.

Derrick Rose was nowhere to be seen in Game 2 towards the end of the game tonight. If LeBron had played the same way Rose had tonight, the media would be all over him. We don’t hear anything negative about Rose because it’s society’s way of trying to forget about James and attempting to build a new American icon and hero. We praise his MVP press conference. We praise his good games, but then when he has a bad game the media doesn’t bash him the same way they would bash LeBron.

Has Rose done more than LeBron has in the playoffs? No, he hasn’t. LeBron still has taken a team of misfits to the NBA Finals with probably one of the most clutch performance in the decade.

So why aren’t we seeing Rose get bashed tonight?

Instead we see an article on Yahoo! Sports bashing LeBron for not defending Luol Deng before he drained a 60-foot buzzer beater.

Really?

How often do those go in anyway? How often do we see people making dumb fouls in that situation which result in free throws? 60-footers rarely go in. Quit fussing over the tiniest of details in LeBron’s game. The Lakers a few weeks ago were giving up on layups. That’s more of an issue then not defending Deng on a half court shot.

People need to regain perspective. It’s unbelievable how much of it was lost because of a press conference.